from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
