I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
