so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize