who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Non-Jews are for practice
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
