i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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