Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
