I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
