i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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