Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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