I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
