3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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