I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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