I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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