I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i think my tv is drunk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
