: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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