It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
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Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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