I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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