escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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