And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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