She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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