You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize