I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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