We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
