these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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