Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
