Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
