Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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