chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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