all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
