I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
