So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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