We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize