Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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