Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
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I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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