Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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