the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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