I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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