grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Im part way to drunk.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
