it was like fucking gandolphs beard
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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