i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
