do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
