Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
