She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize