I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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