We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
