Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
