I want to make a zoo with you.
I bet he comes in French.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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