Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
