she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
