Too much gin, very little bucket
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I want to fling myself into the sun
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
