words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
