So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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