The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
