hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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