last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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