I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
