I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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