8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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