Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
