I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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