I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
