he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
