just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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