wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
