Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
